A day of appointments

So today I started the day with a heating and cooling estimate, then I picked Nathan up for a doctors consultation. This was a hard appointment to make in some ways because I feel like I am amitting defeat. Why is this hard? Nathan already is getting special ed services, and has been for a bit. Many days he seems like a typical kid, and a typical boy, and people think I am nuts for having him in special ed. But they are not around for the afterfall of the day. They are not around on the bad days. The days where he cries over a shoelace. Where he screams I hate you just because you asked him to shower. Where he flat out does the opposite he is told. When he touches the hot stove because he does not believe you when you say it's hot. This has gone on since he was 3. He will be 7 in a couple weeks. Nathan is reading at an amazing level. He's in first grade, and polished off "diary of a Wimpy kid" in 4 days. His math skills are brilliant. But it's an hour fight to get him to write 10 spelling words. He melts crying that he's stuipid, dumb and can't do it. Cries that he is yelled at all the time. I meet with his teacher frequently. He is a mystery to us all. We do not have a diagnosis, just ideas to try to help. He gets OT twice a week, as he has sensory concerns. He has a 1:1 aide to keep him focused. She suggested looking into ADD or ADHD. Problem is, Nathan can focus when he wants to. He can focus for hours at a clip..... I have a hard time buying the ADD or ADHD tag. Pediatrician told me it almost seems like high functioning Aspergers. This is something I have thought of on and off, but that tag doesn't quiet fit either. Oppositional defiant disorder was also thrown around, and that scares me. I don't know what this is, I just want to sweet loving child that he can be some days........ So we are going to go get more testing done. I don't know what the suggestions will be from there. I don't know if I want meds, I am scared to death of what they might do to my kid. But if they do help stabilize things and make him happier, and make things so that we aren't constantly arguing.... it might be worth it.

My last appointment was for my foot. X-rays were taken. Things are okay, but the metal is bothering me, and probably needs to come out. I am going back in May, and hopefully I will feel better after the surgery. I will be out of work for about a week. Lets hope it's not longer.